Real meaning weaving it’s way through me on my yoga mat

 

Intention ~ Awareness ~ Focus ~ Discipline ~ Courage ~ Samskaras ~ Mindfulness ~ Less is more ~ Breath, love, let go..   

These are just some of the words I am falling in love with as they weave their way through me on my yoga mat, and into my life.

Speaking of these words or reading books about them would have never had the impact on me as they have had through my yoga practice.

I lived my whole life being in my head which has had a tremendous toll on many aspects of my life.

So looking for solutions and understanding of things in my head only brings me deeper into my patterns, taking me further than where I really need to go, which is come home, into my body!

I have known to do things that bring me into my body for a while now as part of my journey to health and also wealth, yes I aspire and hunger for an abundant life! And I am finally gently surrendering to the goodness and truth of this inner guidance that we often receive in our life in the form of whispers.

I have had this whisper in my ears, to begin practicing yoga about a year ago, as I started to have some real health challenges rise to the surface for me. I have had this same whisper before but made the wise choice this time to gently surrender to it in the kindest of ways, taking it in tiny baby step, one at time!!

I discovered Melissa West as I was exploring and taking my baby steps and she has grown to be my teacher ever since!

Through practicing many of her one hour sessions for the last 9 months, I am in awe at what is taking shape and place deep within me in my life.

I am going through some very challenging times at all levels, from money to health and relationships!!

But it is as if my yoga practice and my life are working hand in hand! As I embrace the new and what is possible, more comes apart within me to make way and space for the new. You often hear this saying that things sometimes have to get worse before they get better, well that is the sense and experience I am having.

For example, my health is in a very fragile state at this time and as I experience it coming apart, I am knowing of good deep internal changes taking shape within me as I learn to better care for myself. I have abused my body for most of my life, not being there for myself and not properly taking care of myself. So this coming apart comes to me as no surprise. I must constantly remind myself to keep my calm as I move along this journey, and yoga is helping me do just that. It is helping me see the light when I am in the dark and find some peace in the stormiest of weathers.

I am aware as part of my healing journey that I must make some core changes in my life if I want to become healthy which for me translates as having to leave behind the person I have grown accustomed to be, with the comforts I have grown accustomed to cherish that were actually very detrimental, to make space and create this new healthy me that I aspire to be.

There is much pain, discomfort and grieving in that and thank you to Melissa, I resort to her and her yoga for support.

It appease my soul to do her yoga session even if there are times when I am only able to make my way to the mat for a few minutes and in the toughest of times just listen to a few of her words! It still changes me within! It must be the intention that is weaving its way through me as I lay on my yoga mat!! There is a little sunshine that unexpectedly rises within as I allow myself to be more present and feel my breath. And even if it is the tiniest speck of light I get to connect with, I am eternally grateful for it and I know to keep loving that, and focus on that. It shows me where the light is at times where everything seems dark.

I had no understanding of any of these words I posted above (Intention ~ Awareness ~ Focus ~ Discipline ~ Courage ~ Samskaras ~ Mindfulness ~ Less is more ~ Breath, love, let go..) as I lived my life, none!!! I was someone who lived on the run from a traumatic event I experienced as a little girl. I guess in medical terms, it is what they call post traumatic stress disorder though I believe probably many people live in this state at different extent in their lives, something that is probably what we translate as the fight or flight mode that I would say most of this world live in these days!

Everything in my life was about getting or experiencing a feeling I desperately wanted to have that would offer me a sense of relieve from any kind of stress, discomfort or pressure I was experiencing. I resorted to my own distractions, or you could say drugs of choice (food being a big one for me), to self sooth or numb myself out until all the good things in my life began collapsing on me!

I did not live by any of these mantras and when I  heard of them, when people would speak of them, they just sounded like hard work and a burden to me, like some impossible task or idea I could never even dream of achieving. I already felt I was carrying this huge load on my shoulders, so just the thought of adding more weight increased this feeling of exhaustion I was already living with.

But through my yoga practice, I am growing to love and cherish these words at my core, as they reveal their true meaning to me right within my body at a cellular level.

Their meaning comes to me deeper than words ever would. They come to me as they weave their way through me, through my life, getting me untangled from a mess I had found myself in. As I grow to become more aware through my yoga poses and as I am kindly and gently present on my yoga mat, it is as if my posture is being transformed in my daily life and this new awareness in my body helps me come into alignment within.

I get to experience and witness first hand my subconscious and my body reuniting through real meaning revealing itself to me. I can see how the real meaning of these words are truly our natural state, our natural way of being and yoga serves as a wonderful tool to UN-distort ourselves, helping us come into alignment with who we really are.

So for the sake of this article and my new found focus : ), I will keep this post at this even though I can already see that I would love to elaborate more specifically on how the meaning of some of these words have already translated themselves into some sweet delightful examples in my daily life.

Thank you to Melissa for showing me through her precious yoga sessions the true meaning of these words as I learn to embrace them and abide by them one baby step at a time…

Namaste to all.

In love and gratitude,

Karen

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My Sankalpa for the weeks to come!

” I am becoming forever more the real woman I truly aspire to be!”

I picked this photograph on Flickr which describes well the feeling in my body and spirit of my intention for the weeks to come!

Photo credit: Weisseespitze

 

Last night I did a yoga session on Sankalpa with my beloved teacher Dr.Melissa West.

A Sankalpa, as Melissa explains, is an intention that you set in motion like a seed that you plant in your own heart and being. It should really resonate with your core and align with your essence. As you begin to honor and focus on your intention, it begins to move and manifest in your outer world!

I knew I could really benefit from doing this session as a new week was just going to begin the following day and I felt the need to regroup and gain some focus in order to insure that I really move forward with what is truly important in my life!

Things often unfold and open up in ways I don’t expect them to when I do yoga. It is like I get out of my own way or you could say out of my head as I gently move my body and attune my body and being to the movement and poses required!

And to better express what rose up in this session for me last night, here is a few things I would like to share with you!

I hired some help this last week which is a big step for me. I have been very fragile with my health and doing all that I can to change my whole lifestyle; putting a really healthy foundation in place, something that I can stand on and build my life upon.

My days have been full with simply taking proper care of myself, attending the basic chores around my home and growing all my sprouts which is a huge endeavor as it is the main source of my diet.

But in all this I would end up exhausted at the end of each day and this left me with more of a sense of keeping up and copping with these awesome systems that I am putting in place rather than gaining real energy and healing from them which is ultimately the real goal in all this.

I know to be gentle and patient in this process of unfolding, transformation and healing but I also know that I need to be honest in assessing what is really taking place in order to insure that I am actually really moving forward with all the positive changes that I am implementing in my life.

It got clear to me that I needed some help to lighten the burden of those daily, repetitive chores if I wanted to insure that I focus some of my energy on what will actually propel me forward the most!

By lightening up the burden of these energy taxing, time consuming daily chores, I would gain time and energy to focus on things that would build energy and provide real healing. And I have been knowing for a while now that working on my blog is one of the things I need to focus on as an integral part of my transformation! As this represents to me: starting to really live by having a voice, taking a stand, following my passion, doing what I love, honoring my real vision and most importantly taking the real steps required to make this happen!

 

Today is Monday and the Sankalpa that opened up for me last night to love, focus on and cherish for the next several weeks came to me as follow:

” I am becoming forever more the real woman I truly aspire to be!”.  When I breath in this Sankalpa, I see and feel this woman in all aspects of my life; from the relationship I have with my body and food, to respecting and honoring my money and taking care of my financial future, to my relationships with others around me and my surroundings.

And during my yoga session last night as I was being, moving and breathing in my Sankalpa, we came to a pose where Melissa asked that we ask ourselves: “What steps will be required of you to take, to bring this Sankalpa into form?”

The pose was actually already a bit difficult and uncomfortable for me so it was interesting what opened up when she said that we needed to honor what was for us the steps we will need to take in order to bring our Sankalpa into reality as the days she says, where Yogis practice and live in cages is long over :) . Yes, we must first nurture and cultivate our Sankalpa within ourselves but then we must share it with others by coming out into the world with it for others to learn from, be nourished by and inspired by it just as we have been!

I know this is definitely a big one for me that hit home when she said this. You can’t just have a vision and acknowledge your Sankalpa like you would do a visualization!  You must really live it by bringing it into the world, once you have spent the time to love, care for it and cultivate it within yourself!!

So as uncomfortable as that was to hear her say this, what opened up for me is to focus on building and cultivating focus and core strength. And I know that for me, building core strength brings me to the place of living from my power center and from there growing a real ability to make decisions where I am able to move forward in the physical form with my real values in life!

On a more personal note here something I will share with you! I am currently living off of an a inheritance and I have never had a healthy relationship with money! As a matter of fact, it has been something that I have been completely numb to my entire life!!

Somewhat I managed to make it so far but this is nothing I could sustain at this point in my life considering the circumstances and just the stage I find myself in at this point of my life. I am saying this because it would be tempting and easy for me to delude myself with this inheritance thinking that the money will be an endless supply if I just don’t look at my bank account and that all is rosy and I can take the time I need to heal my body and just live in wonderland!

Well, having struggled with my health my entire life and being at a stage of my life where I really am on my own, it has become imminently clear that a big part of my ability to finally have real health in my life and a sustainable foundation to build a healthy thriving life upon,  I will need to honor what I am and allow this life force within me to thrive in this world!

I have the luxury right now to take care of all the important things in my life so I can build a solid foundation for my life and I have to really honor my money in this, which translates as valuing and honoring my time by insuring that I spend it wisely as this is a real investment I am making into my future!

And having been especially weak lately, having lost a lot of weight, hearing those words was rather uncomfortable but I could resonate with the truth of them!! I know they are what will bring me into my power center where I can connect with the REAL power of intention and have for once in my life real living will!!! I have never felt this strength and power from within that lays right at your core! Yoga as been so beneficial for me in connecting with that part of my body which as brought to me tremendous awareness like I never had before!

I did on a few occasions already, a yoga session with Melissa called Drishti that means “point of focus”, and I found it to be rather uncomfortable as well but I was also extremely delighted to learn and realize within my body what focus really is and means and how that meaning of it translates into my body. I know I can go so much deeper with it as I keep revisiting my yoga matt and applying all that opens up for me on my matt with this into my daily living.

I have been struggling completing tasks when it comes to bringing my vision of the Million Dollar Housewife into form!!! Even when I keep the goals and the tasks at a minimum, if they involve bringing something forward into the world to share, completing them at that point as been a real struggle for me.

When I noticed how just about impossible that has been for me, I knew as I always do, not to be hard on myself, that it can just mean that there is a lot for me to move through, be in and integrate, and that it can be much bigger than I think!!!

And it is so good and important for me to see that because the temptation to get distracted by getting busy with other things in my life when this happens is so easy!! It often just happens without me hardly noticing until I find myself down at the same cross road again where I must pick up the pieces I left off previously with then more time that has gone by and wasted!

What I know now when this happens, is to not give up and postpone as postponing leads to no progress, but instead, I ask myself what can I do to support progress and movement in this, in a smooth, gentle and kind way and that is when things like finding the “point of focus” session with Melissa just comes knocking at my door. It is like just what I need shows up as I gently ask for support in moving gently forward!

So yesterday the Sankalpa took me right to that opening and seeing and showed me that I needed to be with the concept of focus even more by doing this yoga session on a regular basis as well as practical exercise in my daily living to implement what I learn from it. And how I need to do some core strength building exercise as well to help me with my living will; taking action with what truly matters!

So things really are all tied up and interconnected and yoga has been a wonderful way for me to see and realize this, helping me bring all the broken pieces of my life together, weaving them as I mend them together into this beautiful and harmonious blanket just as my mother would have woven when she was alive!!

So this morning I woke up and it is Monday and as a new week began, before I grabbed my cell phone and, checked facebook and my email, I insured that I really let in what opened up for me last night in doing this yoga session!

And here I am writing an article that I intend to complete and share with you!!! :)

To the power of Sankalpa :)

Cheers!!

I hope you enjoyed this and learned something of value that inspires and supports you on your journey of unfolding and forever more, becoming the real beautiful and inspiring woman you are meant to be!!

Namaste!

Mdh

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Cellular nourishment and rejuvenation

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Photo credit:  ‘eindzel

 

“I do things that are deeply nourishing at a cellular level in my life!”

 

This is my new motto, something that I started to affirm initially with food and that has now turned into a life motto for me as part of my health journey to recovery!

I changed it when I started to notice that cellular nourishment was for me about much more than just proper nourishment with food!

And this morning I wanted to take a moment to share with you what I have discovered so far that has opened up for me in this as a means to express how grateful I am!

As this list grows, I will be adding more:

 

1.  Going for walks and getting some fresh air, even when I am feeling extremely weak in my body, is so rejuvenating!!

It gives me energy and it makes me feel good and happy. It is uplifting and I can feel how much my body loves to get some oxygen, the kind that you don’t get when you are indoors all day!!!

It is winter time where I live and it gets extremely cold here! And since I am very fragile at the moment and spending very little time outdoors, keeping the windows to my place shut, the contrast has been loud and clear!!

Though now, since I have discovered the undeniable value and benefits of fresh air and real oxygen, I am make a point to open the windows to get some fresh air recirculation into my home and I leave a sliver open at night time in my bedroom to breathe some real oxygen into my lungs as I sleep!

“Getting some fresh air outdoors as I gently move my body is deeply nourishing and rejuvenating!

 

2.  My body is uplifted when I drink my greens!!!

I notice my breathing and lungs opening up when I drink my glass of wheatgrass juice in the morning followed by my fresh cucumber juice and E3 live concoction.

All these deep greens nourish me at a cellular level!! I feel energy, clarity, vitality and a sense of openness when I drink them!

 

3.  I feel nourished at a cellular level when I come to my room, instead of resorting to my food addiction, finding comfort in listening to soothing music or a meditation.

It calms me down, soothes me and takes me deeper within, at levels I have not gone to before.

It is deeply restful and nourishing and it feels like cellular nourishment when I am being kind and gentle with myself!

 

4.  I feel change and transformation taking place deep within the cells of my body when I do my yoga.

It is like I experience memories that are stored in the cells of my body being released as I discover new ways of being within as I move and stretch my body; ways of being in my body as I be in this world!

I am deeply grateful for my yoga teacher Dr. Melissa West!

 

I will be adding to this list as I discover more!!!

Please do share with us what you have notice in your life that nourishes you at a cellular level!! We would all love to hear about it!!!

Namaste,

Mdh

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Less is more in everything!

I was standing in my kitchen overlooking my yoga space and I was inspired to take a photo as I was experiencing tremendous gratefulness for how much more there is in my life since I am learning to focus on less in every little thing from how I be, to how and what I choose to eat, to how I spend my time, to what I choose to keep and just everything else…

This approach as had a tremendous snowball effect and I was inspired to share this with you in the simple form of a poem, describing why it has been so good!

 

It opens up the horizon in your life for clear seeing

And for your real vision to be seen and cherished by you

 

It allows for more focus,

with clear priorities

And more ease,

with less time wasted on things that don’t matter

 

There is more beauty

More to see

Savor and enjoy

 

It turns the smallest thing into the most vibrant and precious gem

and makes you feel real gratefulness for the smallest things in life

 

It opens up the flow of creative energy

by making the very most out of the least

And creates a need and longing for ever less

as you strive for deeper meaning in your life

 

It provides guidance, inspiration and focus

 

It makes for less confusion

And more peace of mind

 

It creates more open space

Better flow

And less to do

 

There is less time wasted

And more quality time

 

It acts as an invitation for more change and transformation

As you unfold in this ocean of forever letting go…

Opening up as you discover forever more what you truly love and aspire for…

 

 

And the list goes on as you apply this to every aspect of your life!!

Stay tuned, as I am sure much more will come on this subject!

 

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Pour toi, Maman

 

I decided to write a post for you maman, speaking to you as I share of myself on my blog.

I figure there is better chances you will hear me this way : )

You passed away 5 years ago now, not exactly on the mark I know. But as you know me, it is not my forte to remember exact dates!!

But since you passed away sometime in September 2008, I wanted to insure I write this post before the month of October is over while I am still experiencing this pull within to honor our bond and your passing!

I love you and I have been feeling very connected to you lately as I know you have too and I have just written a whole post about this on my personal blog inspired by a drawing I made of you and I.

I love theses 2 images juxtaposed side by side that I am posting here in your honor!!

I took pictures of some beautiful golden leaves shimmering in the wind on a walk I had by the Saskatchewan river last weekend and I could not help but think of you and this drawing (upper left) I made before you died which I remember at the time, I was so pulled to share it with you as it seemed to so strongly want to be seen by you and be with you!

And if you recall, it is titled ” Let the leaves put your mind at ease!!” A good reminder as we move through the turmoils of life!!

I thought when I saw the leaves shivering so beautifully in the wind last weekend, that I needed to blend you in with a blend app : ) and could not wait to come home, find the right one for this application and give it a try!  And then juxtapose you side by side with this drawing.

I have all these wonderful free apps I discovered on my Iphone and it is amazing what you can do in the snap of a finger!!! Apps and possibilities are just endless. I love how efficient and user friendly they are!! And I will speak all about this on a separate blog post, not related to you mom : ) but for those of you who are interested in finding out more about photo applications. I will share some beautiful pictures I have created so far with apps that I love and why!

And coming back to these golden leaves mum, it is the shimmering sound that actually captured my attention in the first place!!

So I made a little video clip for you as well!

I know you will enjoy it, wherever you are!!

In love and gratitude for our bond.

Tenderly,

Karen

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What my wheatgrass is teaching me

 

I have been growing sprouts for several months now as part of my health regimen!

I am loving it. It does require quite a bit of work but it is good work!

I am finding out that working on things that have a goodness purpose in it changes you within. It changes your orientation from this sense of rushing, stress and worry, to a place of care and nurturing.

One thing I have been struggling with though, is my wheat grass!

I am doing well with my pea and sunflower sprouts. And the day I have my sprouting system down to a tea, I will be happy to share it with you!

I love to come up with systems that require as little maintenance and work as possible, and that look good and are pleasing to the eyes. What can I say, I just have a passion for homes. I love creating  beautiful spaces that emanate a sense of ease and relaxation.

Okay so much for this, lets get back to the sprouts!

I am finding the wheat grass to be the hardest of all to grow. I am still struggling with mold which is a common issue in growing wheat grass. Fortunately, I have found out that the kind of mold that is on my wheat grass is not toxic and I always insure to cut my grass way above it, for extra safety. But still, I would much rather not have this issue all together! I am having a lot of my grass go to waste and not getting so much yield for all my hard work.

I was just talking this morning to a lady at the farmers market that I like to call the wheat grass lady. She sells trays of them as well as pea and sunflower sprouts, and some other vegetables in season. And she has been generously sharing some of her knowledge with me.

I tried some of her tips and I am still struggling with my issues. I have watched many videos online on how to successfully grow wheat grass and clearly, that has not been working for me!! So I have taken it upon myself to just get to know the plants I am growing.

This is a new and fascinating process for me and they are looking better already. I am learning to treat them with more care and love. I pay attention to them to see how they are doing as I want to get to know them to find out what they need and love.

What I find fascinating in all this is that I have been learning to take care of my body, listening to it and it’s needs and what is best for it. This is such a crucial part of my healing journey. And it is fascinating for me to discover that plants have the same needs from us as our bodies does. They respond to the environment they are in and the care they are given right from the start. And I mean from the moment the seeds are planted in the field, to their harvesting, to planting the seeds again for growing wheat grass.

When I mentioned to the wheat grass lady that I was still struggling with mold issues after her tips, she said that she has to constantly adjust her growing method with each new lot of seeds that comes in (each lot being a new crop) as they were all cared for differently and grown in different environments.

But even more fascinating than this, she mentioned that the different vegetables and sprouts that she grows respond differently to each of her employee even if following the same regimen. She has noticed for example that her broccoli flourishes when cared for by one of her specific employee. And other of her plants don’t do so well in her care and better in someone else’s care. So she intentionally matches the right people to the plants that responds best to them.

So clearly, this is more than just doing all the right things. This is a living relationship. They respond to our way of being with them. They are all unique and  sensitive creatures just like we are, with needs that can only really be met by truly being present with them.

My body has been teaching me so much already and now knowing that plants require the same kind of attention to be healthy and thrive feels like an invitation to discover new depth of being within me as I learn to better care for them.

Hope this inspires you to slow down a bit and learn to listen to this so ever gentle quiet voice within that is most precious within each of us. Our plants and our bodies can really teach us how to be if we give them the space to teach us.

With much gratitude to all that is alive!

May wellness be with you and all around you.

Love,

Mdh~ Karen

*When I took a picture of my sprouts, I noticed my shadow and thought it was interesting since  I am sharing my experience in learning to be with and care for my sprouts. My hand is symbolic of the care I put into them :)

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Moving from stagnation

I find myself laying down on my bed wondering if I am spending my comfort away

And if I should put myself under pressure instead???

 

Don’t take me wrong

I am experiencing pressure

But am I covering it up

With comfort afterwards??

 

Just ate 2 bowls of ice cream (frozen blueberries and a frozen banana put through my omega juicer)

Looking at my past

Staring through my thoughts

Laying comfortably under my blanket

But not really comfortable!!!

 

Thinking of my ex who is now moving forward with his life

And thinking of me laying there

And how I could have been proactive in our marriage

And how I stagnated and got stock

And here I am

After much pain

Am I numbing out again???

 

I think: get up!!!

And here I am writing a poem!!!

To wake me up

Get me up!!!

 

I am lost a bit!

Knowing where to go in the deep

And wondering how I will make both ends meet!!!

Can I still love the Million Dollar Housewife

Is it congruent with what I truly know??

Is it in line with where my being wants to go??

 

Right now all I know

Is writing

What I think and feel and see

Will get things moving!!!

 

Moving, moving and moving

Is good!!!!

 

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